Thursday, 1 October 2009

Poppin to Tescos, is like going to therapy.................................

Just got back from Tesco, and for the first time all day I have got a smile on my face, that I just can't shake off! There are certain times in your life, when you might be feelin a bit down, or are just having an off day, when someone elses misfortune makes you realise your day/ life isn't actually that bad!

I live in a very 'nice' part of Essex, and apart from all the 'special' people that live here, there always seems to be that rare few that seemed to have bypassed my radar for 'extra specialness'. You think you know people, but sometimes they have a way of suprising you!! ha!ha!

Tesco is not my shop of choice, it's food seletion is far inferior to Sainsburys or Marks and Spencer, but seeing as I can't afford Marks and Sparks at the mo, and 4 girls were stabbed in Sainsburys last Saturday, Tescos it is! I only popped out to get some bread and milk, but am still laughing at the 'drama' that unfolded.

I was doing my usual walking round, looking at everyone, thinking "I wonder if their together", or "is that her Dad or her fella?", or "With shoes like that, I wonder what colour pants he's wearing", when just around the 'dairy ailse' there was a scene straight out of "Jeremy Kyle"!!!!

Me being me, I decided to hover around the fresh cream section, reading the 'recipie ideas' on a carton of Baileys Cream. There was a toddler in a buggy just left in the middle of the aisle, and two kids looking at the floor or their shoes. All I could hear was "you whore", "you fat bitch", "you wanna sort out your kid, otherwise I'll kick your f***ing head in". Then it dawned on me, it was end of school time. The local school is just opposite, so there were loads of Mums with kids in tow, buying the family meal of nuggets and chips.

I went to walk off, thinking that was the end of it. Then kind of just made it past before they started pulling each others hair!! I decided then that I needed to re-read the 'recipe ideas' on that Baileys cream again! Anyway, to cut a long story short, the hair pulling progressed into a full blown fight! In the middle of Tesco! With someones hair extensions in a pile on the floor.

By the time 2 really dumpy, and slow, security guards ran over shouting on walkie talkies "front door, back door" it was full blown rolling around on the floor. By this time, myself and everyone in the 'Dairy Ailse' were now pretending we'd only just noticed! I carefully went to put back the Baileys Cream and walk off without being noticed, while the women were being pulled apart. I then made my way really fast to the 'Bakery Ailse'. I was half laughing all the way round, I paid for my stuff, made to walk out, and noticed that one of the "fighting mums" was my neighbour!

I'm still laughing now, cos as I'm writing this I can see her in her garden smoking, and ranting down her mobile...................... I don't think she knows I saw her!


  1. Haha, very good...might pop into your branch soon. Keep up the good work.

  2. So your 4yr old is a brat and you live in an area where girls get stabbed in Sainsburys and women have cat fights in Tescos! Can't wait to read your next post!

    Great stuff!

  3. Thanks Doug!! There are always dramas where I'm from!!